ADHD part two: Q&A
Here are some questions that came in from the Q&A of the ADHD workshop.
What are some strategies for parents who also have ADHD in parenting kids with ADHD?
Having your own space to get what you need to care for your ADHD (medication, therapy, etc.) Doing your own work is really important because you don’t want to pass down any of the negative messages you received. You also want to have an idea of what’s helpful for you so you can have faith that your child will be able to find things that are truly helpful to them.
Don’t assume that the same things that are helpful for you will be helpful for your child – everyone with ADHD is different. For some people, setting timers as reminders is super helpful. For others they leave sticky notes to remind themselves of things they may forget. For some kids listening to the audiobook while walking around helps them. For others reading while listening to music does the trick.
How can parents rebuild trust when they have been impatient or overly frustrated with their kids who have ADHD?
Apologize and own your mistakes – this is never a bad thing for kids to experience!
Start to help the child reframe their understanding of their behaviors.
Collaborate with them to find strategies that work.
Begin to give them the benefit of the doubt.This could sound like, “I know you want to get your homework done, I think we’re just having a focusing problem. I wonder what we could try that would be helpful in getting this assignment done so you can go out and play.” If they struggle to think of something, have some ideas ready for them. “Here’s some things we could try – it might be a good day to take your medication. We could also try breaking up the assignment into smaller tasks and taking a short break after each one. You could also try taking a walk for 5 to 10 minutes and coming back to the assignment.”
What factors can help parents to determine it is time to consider medication?
Consultation with your child study team, doctors, and therapists. Take in and listen to what the professionals in your life are telling you. Feel free to ask questions and to question them, but also deeply consider their reasoning, even if it might be different from your own.
When your child is suffering and is asking for help. If your child is asking for help and is willing to receive treatment, I highly recommend not withholding them from it. If they know they need this help, trust them.
When strategies and environmental adaptations still leave your child unable to do the things in life they need to do. ADHD is a biological condition. Just like there’s no shame in using insulin for diabetes or taking medication for your allergies, there is no shame in recognizing the need for ADHD medication.
What activities would help my child who has ADHD?
Staying active! Physical activity can help manage ADHD symptoms.
Fidget toys/ whatever they gravitate towards. Having something kinestic to hold and play with can help improve focus. They may look distracted while they fidget, but may actually be taking in more information.
Doing activities they are naturally interested in an enjoy! ADHD’s interest based nervous system means that if you build on your child’s strengths and interests, they will be much more likely to succeed.
Do children grow out of ADHD?
No! It’s a biological condition of the brain that does not go away. It can be managed by medication and through learning skills/ receiving appropriate accommodations. ADHD also has loads of strengths that you wouldn’t want your child to grow out of – including a unique perspective (many comedians and artist have ADHD) and unique interests (many people with ADHD will become very passionate about the things that they are interested in and can focus on).
What happens when ADHD is untreated?
Don’t have help developing strategies and finding resources that help them navigate work, school, relationships, and other areas of their lives.
May perform poorly in school.
Internalize a message that they are not capable or smart, instead of recognizing that they are in a world that wasn’t built for them and if they could find the resources and strategies they need, they would actually be able to reach their full potential.